My last post

Finally, the weekend is here. Can't wait to get out of office. I told myself to keep my emotions under control but it is hard. I kept my cool as much as I can since it is just a job. Ranting away in silence openly is one of the only ways to calm myself down. Haha... Sometimes, writing the diary helps too rather than revealing my feelings over here. It doesnt matter if I don't receive comments on my blog. I don't like the idea of my friends knowing I have a blog, knowing that I am unhapppy.This Blog always remind me of some unhappy events which i will never forget. It will simply trigger the bad memories of why this blog ever existed. I never wanted to create a blog like this, no intention to get unwanted attention or to make more friends out of this. It was created to get the attention of my ex who was so obsessed with reading blogs and meeting god knows how many bloggers then...It upset me. The thought of it was unbearable. It doesn't matter if he still read this blog of mine. He is history since 4 years ago. This will be my last post here.

....................

It was a rough day for me on a Tuesday. It was supposed to be my confirmation day for my job, but I ended up in tears. I am confirmed, of course. However, it wasn't a happy event. I am glad this blog is still 'active' for me to pour my unhappiness over here. Life is not fair, I know and I accepted the unfairness to a certain extent.

Having to work with someone who is full of bullsh*t and full of lies make the working environment unbearable at times. Someone who keeps creating obstacles for me to prevent me from performing my truth worth to the company and at the same time, pretends to be victimised simply disgust me. Disregard the bullsh*t guy, I do enjoy my new place of work. I like most of my colleagues.

Why are there so many parasites around us? I totally despise those who are arrogant and full of craps. Always pretend to know alot but know close to nothing. :( The only comforting thing is that I have a understanding and supporting family and some great friends.

Arrghhh!!!!!!!

I want to scream out loud. I really do. I don't understand these OL aka office ladies. Must conversations be filled with sarcasism? I don't know when did I 'owe' this particular OL $$$. She seems kinda biased against me. It was fine the first week, but subsequently, her behaviour changed. Sigh... was it because I'm on good terms with her arch enemy?

I detest office politics. Trivial matters can turn into something serious. Oh well, hush hush...Shan't reveal much here. I am just happy that I have work to keep me busy. Life is short and precious. I will take things easy from now on and let nature takes its course.

And yippy! The weekend is finally here. Gonna meet some frds to chill @ Cafe Del Mar.... I may change my mind and return home after work and bury myself with all the textbooks useful for the nature of my work. We'll see....

:(

Had a rough week. Been doing '2nd' shift after my day work. Worked till 4am the day before. I can never finish my work. Unfinished and new assignments just keep increasing. Every engagement has their own deadlines. Felt disappointed when my work and effort are not appreciated. Had a rough day. It is not my problem but my assistant's. I got to minimise the damage done and apologised profusely for something I didn't even commit. I've to protect the welfare of my assistants, sometimes at the risk of taking the blame for the wrong doings by performed by them. I felt wronged. Trying hard to block the tears from bursting out, I took deep breaths. One issue after another. One call after another. One meeting after another. It is never ending. I don't hate my job. Loved the company of my colleagues but resent the long nights.

Left my client's place and returned back to office. Still upset over what happened. Very upset and enraged. No matter how miserable I am feeling, I still have to finish my review work for Job A. Still have to update my partner what happened at Job B. See my manager on Job C on Friday. And Job D is waiting for me to finish it over the weekend. :(

Mount Kinabalu

I am going on a mountain climbing trip with my friends next month. Was told by many friends that I need to build up my stamina as it is going to be a long walk. Hmm... I believe I can safely build up my stamina and strength in a month if I 'work out' in the gym 4 times a week. I pray that I would not be overload with work. My schedule for the next 2 weeks should be a non wee hours week. I am praying hard. My gym pass is going to expire by end March. This gives me a good reason to utilise the gym intensively till end March.

This should be considered a hiking trip. Never been on a hiking trip before. I pray that this trip be a safe one for my friends and myself as it will be an all girls trip. I've friends who warned me about the danger with no guy in the group. I don't have a good feeling. Now I am hoping my friend E will join me for the trip. Then at least we have one guy.

I am thankful for being able to go on leave for 2 days in April 09. It will be a break for me. Though this may be a tiring adventure for me but I know I will be able to collect beautiful and breath-taking pics back home.

Random thoughts

My peak period's gonna end soon, probably by end March 09. Yay! I will be able to engage in my favourite pastimes real soon; i.e. baking, working out, body massage/scrub, facial session. Thinking of a career change. Thinking of taking a culinary course. Playing with the idea of becoming culinary chef.

It's gonna be a complete change of career for me. I always been interested in baking and cooking. However, I find that there is still lot of room for improvement. Can anyone provide me with information where I can be a intern in a restaurant or where is a good school to enhance my culinary skills? Money is going to be a issue for me. Probably I need to save up for a couple of years before I can realise my dream of becoming a chef.

New dreams, new hopes.

After being dependent on my parents for over 20 yrs, I finally broke 'free' from them. Chinese New Year this year is slightly different. I gave my parents red packets for the very first time for CNY for this Ox Year 2009. They still gave me and my brothers red packets when the clock striked 12 in the morning. It hasn't been easy for my parents to raise all 3 of us up. I am so glad that they can finally take a back seat and let us run the show. My bros E and K and myself are doing our best to give back whatever we received from our lovely parents since the day we were borned.

No big dreams or mega hopes. I just wish a smoothly running 2009 for my family and everyone I care about.

Happy Chinese New Year, everyone!

I wish this 'Niu' year be a blessed year for everyone. No more hiccups/disappointment/sadness. I wanna hear good things from my family and friends. I wish the economy will recover soon from the recession. Good luck and great Health to all! Happy Niu Year! =)

Are you there, God? It's me, Bellona.

Peak has finally arrived. Stress level has been on the high. That's the end of my private space and time for the next few months to come. Been feeling rather emotional and yes, it is nothing new. I always been emotional be it work-related or relationship wise. I seem to sob uncontrollably lately. I tried to blame it on my pms which is the likely culprit for my erratic behaviour most of the time. I am certain the source of contribution to this unwelcomely cranky behaviour derived from the nature of work. The more stressed I become, the more i kept dreaming about my work.

Are u there God? It's me, Bellona. I wish I can pull through this week in this no man's island. Where no taxi will come in even if u call a cab. No one can hear u if you try to scream your lungs out. Most of the times, engagements in this area require long working hours. I am fine with long working hours, just worried if I can get a cab to come in to pick us up. Wish me luck...

Goodbye 2008, Hello 2009!

2008 has been like a coaster roller ride for me. Finally, it is coming to an end. I wish 2009 will be a better year ahead although the economy is suffering a recession. I wish everyone including my family good health in many years to come and success in work/career. Happy New Year!!! =)

Merry Christmas!

Christmas this year was somehow different. I attended a church service on the 24th Dec 08 in the evening. Never would I expect myself to find myself in a church. I could never wake up early in the morning to go to the church with him. Just once i remembered, on 25th Dec 2005. I remembered his disappointed look when I appeared tired and the lack of zest in attending the service. He didn't even try to force me to change up and go to the church with him. Not wanting to spoil that special day, we went to the church. I could see that he was rather happy then. The feeling I had then n the recent one this year was somewhat different. I seemed to feel more at peace with myself after listening to the pastor citing examples in life in relation to the bible quotes. I felt calmer. To be honest, I always try to avoid the churches invitations from my friends. I didn't try to understand the religion as I wasn't feeling comfortable. I was born embracing Taoism. I enjoy going to the temple. I still do. However, I don't seem to resist going to the church at this current juncture. My friend, K first invited me to her friend's place for a pre-xmas gathering. My heart missed a beat when K told me her friend stayed in the same area as him. Wat are the odds of my friend knowing him? Very slim. I wouldn't dare go near that area. It happened to be one of the houses that I always need to walk past before cutting across to the playground to his place. I felt weird. I know everything is history. Anyways, I like the new frds I made and enjoyed playing "Taboo". A game I first got to know from the movie " Four Christmas". Gonna attend my friend's church this sat again to support her as she is giving her testimony. Looking forward to see K's CG friends too. Am going to get the game "Taboo" and introduce the game to my friends.

Merry X'mas, everyone and have a smashing New Year! I wish everyone good health.

Things are not looking good.

My sprained ankle is still very swollen and parts of the foot looked bruised. =( 2 of my toes are bruised and they hurt when I pressed on them. I need to go for an x ray to check if I fracture any of the toes. It just saddens me that I can't head to the gym for any workout looking at my current state. Taking medical leave to rest my foot seems unlikely. *sob*

What a day...

It was a beautiful Monday morning as usual until I fell flat on my knees on the pavement near my residence and sprained my right ankle. Blood oozing out from my left kneecap. Couldn't find any tissue papers to stop the blood and got my hands stained with abit of my blood. Glad I put some plasters in my bag and stopped the bleeding. My ankle was swollen like a pig trotter. The pain was excruciating and I can feel my foot trembling due to the pain. As I was a couple of hundred metres away from my home, I decided to hail a cab to visit the nearest doctor. I limped myself for another couple of distance to a location away from the bus stop before I called for a cab as the cabs these days are not allowed to stop at the bus stop.

Reached the clinic, seen the doctor and he wrapped my foot really tight. I was screaming my head off when he tried to press on my swollen ankle. And I screamed again when he wrapped the bandage tightly. I was given 3 days mc but it was no use. I still need to work on my engagement to avoid missing the deadline. I got a problem, there is no lift at my client's place. I guess I have to get my assistant's help to retrieve documents for me. It is gonna be a limping week for me. What a day! :(

A Ghost Story to Share

To those pple who work late...
read the story no matter u like or dun like ghost story...makes you
glued to your chair till the last sentence!
Prior to joining a new company, this guy A was working at boat quay
area.

In those tall building offices like UOB and such. His office was quite
High up the level at least 30 and above. Normally he will have to stay
Back for OT and in the evening, all the lifts will be stopped due to
security reasons. Whenever he wanted to leave, he will need to call the
old security uncle to activate the lift from ground floor to his level.
Then the uncle will send the lift up..

After sometime, he left the company and joined another place where his
office also very high up in the building. Hence if do OT, also need to
call uncle to send lift up. Then it came the day that he's working OT
for the first time at the new place. He stayed back till 12 plus am and
when he's about to leave, he called! the security uncle to send the lift
up. After packing up he went to the lobby to wait for the lift.
He waited and waited. 10 mins passed, Lift not up. He waited for another
10 mins and call the security uncle. S denotes security here.

A: Hello Uncle ah, have you send the lift up?
S: Yeah sent liao.
A: No leh I been waiting for 20 mins liao leh
S: No meh? okie okie I send again.
Another 5 minutes went by. No lift came up. The guy got worried. He's
the last person to leave and there's no one around. He called the uncle
on his handphone again.
A: Er... Uncle ah, you sure you sent the lift up?
S: Yeah I sent it up twice liao leh.
A: But I saw the lifts all on the first floor leh!
S: Aiyoh. Nevermind. I take the lift up and look for you.

Again, A waited. 5 minutes passed but none of the lift are moving. Then
suddenly, his hp ring. The uncle voice was on the other side of the line
sounding very weird.
S: Where are you? ! I am here. But I cannot find you.
All this while A was staring at the display of the lifts. All at level
1..... and the uncle is here.... shit something is not right.
A straight away chiong to the stairs and dashed down the building...
When he reached ground level, he chiong to the security counter and he
found out that....




.....




......




.....






He had actually called the old security uncle in the building of his
ex-company and not the security uncle of his new office -_- He work till
siao liao and was damn blur. Feeling very pai seh, he also never call
back to explain to the security uncle from the building of his
ex-company.
Blur cock and poor uncle. He must be the one who actually freaked out
going all the way up and saw no one there hahaha

Moral of the story - dun work till becoming like sotong.... Detress by
DANCING............. :-)


When I first read it (before I finish the story), I was like, 'Damn it, I have been working late alone in the office since Sunday. This story's gonna freaks me out! I may not dare to work late again.' When I finished reading the 'horror' story, it got me laughing my ass off. What a SCARY ghost story... WwwOOOooooo....Luckily, I need not call the security to activate the lift for my office when I work OT. Truth is, when you need to meet a deadline, all the fears are gone. =P

More time please...

Stranded on my own in my office on a Sunday evening. In fact, it is already past midnight and I can barely open my eyes now. There were a few others in the afternoon, but the number decreased as each hour went by. Didn't work the least bit on Saturday. Went to the gym for a good workout and did some window shopping. Think of getting a new mobile phone for myself as a X'mas gift. Saw this model Nokia E71. I like the fact it has this metal cover finishing and that it is slim and the review for this model seems fine. My dream phone will always be 8800 series but too pricey. I doubt I will get E71 as a present from anyone. Well, it doesn't matter much anyway. I hope the price will drop abit more by Dec.

Back to reality, another long night this coming week. *yawnz* Just gonna motivate myself by thinking of the coming festive celebrations and the surprises I'm planning for my family, friends and colleagues. I wish I have more time for work and for myself.

What's for Christmas?

Got myself 2 new cookbooks. One of them is ' Martha Steward's Cooking School'. Bought it after less 30% discount @ Borders. I wouldn't think of getting it without any decent discount. It is really a headache finding the 'best' cookbook. My cookbook must contain photos of all the recipes which is one impt criteria in choosing the book. Steps must be easily understood and ingredients must not sound too alien.

I am still studying my cookbook on what to prepare for an upcoming Christmas party. Cupcakes, cookies, molten chocolate cake... BRownies seem boring as I always bake them. I wish I won't be working too late on the eve of X'mas. I wish I can travel out of Singapore during the X'mas holiday. Too many wishes. Hahaha... Just wish that I need not work during the X'mas hols. Most probably I won't. :)

When's my next break?

Starting to feel stressed again. My new engagements have started. I've no break except X'mas break. I longed for another holiday. Hong Kong and Japan are on my Agenda. Hong Kong seems like a regular visit for me. Miss my good friend A. One of the many frds I made during my stay in HK a couple of years back. A never forgets anout me, always welcome me with open arms whenever I visited her in HK. Sincere and sweet and very down to earth.

When's my next break? Probably in June 09. Would love to go Japan with my family. Wanted to bring my parents to see the world. It's high time for them to enjoy life and relax. Can't hardly wait. Arrrgghh!!! Sigh... my busy workload always make me moody. Need to find some activities to colour my hectic lifestyle. Bought a book recently, called 'Don't sweat the small stuff, It's all small stuff.' by Richard Carlson. Read abit of the book, it makes one feel more relaxed and not take things too hard. Life is short anyways. Even after we leave the world, our inbox will never be empty as quoted by the author in the book. Maybe I should not fuss too much about the small stuff and learn to take things easy especially heartbreaks. Still can't handle them well.

Photofunia

I chanced upon this program called 'Photofunia'. It allows you to have fun with your photos. http://www.photofunia.com/ Enjoy!

Turkey

How I wish I can bring this humogous pumpkin back for Halloween Party.

Unforgettable quad bike ride.

Had fun taking pic with the adorable Turkish kid.

Behind me is some limestone thingy (Pardon me, not good with the names)

The 5th pic is the toilet bowl used during the ancient times (sounds crude, I know) and the last pic is the Replica of Trojan Horse.

Turkey trip was quite enjoyable but tiring though. Got to wake up at 6am every morning. Blame myself for being such a vainpot. Wanna make sure I looked my 'best' in every pic, spent almost 45 mins getting ready. haha... Had turkey in turkey, had turkish bath, drank my turkish coffee, ate my favourite turkish ice cream, watched turkish dance, belly dancing and did many turkish activities. We're always on the road, visiting churches, palaces and mosques (in fact, most of the churches are converted to mosques).

Had a little accident while riding on a quad bike. Luckily, it wasn't serious. I shld've braked instead of accelerating while going down slope. Quad bike overturned, awarded myself with a big bruise on my lower calf and thigh as well as a 15-cm scratch on the left side of my rib cage. Hell, it was so painful. Glad my friend didn't get injured except for a minor bruise on his hand. Felt bad actually. Passed the bike back to my friend and we rode up the terrain. It was freaky scary, I wish I could just walked down from the hilltop rather than riding on behind my friend. He was good in controlling the bike but still, it scared the wits out of me due to the accident I had earlier. Kept my sight away from the edge of the hill and kept chanting my prayers. Calling out to my buddha to protect me and hope that they can locate me exactly in Turkey. Finally, I was back on safe land once more. Went water rafting and got more bruises. Passed on the hot air balloon ride as it was rather expensive (USD220). The food in Turkey was not to my liking, prefers local food in Singapore. Nevertheless, it was a refreshing experience in an exotic place.

Long awaited break.

Finally, I get to rest before my next peak. Good news is I'm going to visit Turkey!! Bad news is, I am currently down with flu, bit of sore throat and itchy throat. Feeling a little feverish too. I wish I can recover well before my trip which is another 3 days' time. My endless work is not helping me. I tried sleeping for the whole of Saturday. Did nothing else but popped medication and sleep. I felt guilty for nothing doing any work. Whole body was aching, my nose seemed blocked.

I haven't been travelling much since HK in March this year and it was such a short trip. Not sure if I will enjoy the trip. Just glad to be able to escape from reality for the time being. To enjoy my trip better, my friends advise me to read on the history of the places I am visiting. Gonna try going to the library to get books on Turkey, probably bring a bk or two on the plane to read.

Guess my next destination after Turkey will be Japan with my family and Hong Kong. If not for my packed schedule, I would have squeezed in some days to visit my good friend, A in Hong Kong.